Scars
by Yahnkehy
Summary: I tear my heart open just to feel what I think I should feel....
1. Scars

_**Scars-Drabble-Songfic**_

By: Vegeta's Mate

A/N: This fic deserves to be written, it was inspired by "Scars" by Papa Roach. G/V implied pairing, angst. Let me know what you think. 568 words. One-Shot

Disclaimer: I do not own either Papa Roach or any of his music, neither do I own the delicious saiyans that I am playing with.

_**Scars**_

I sit here on the rocks that border the sea and I'm thinking of us. We had a rocky start to say the least and I realize that I am tired of this give/use relationship, I give you everything that is in me to give and you take it never giving in return. I guess that my weakness is that I care too much.

Everytime I give myself to you, I am tearing my heart open just to feel what I want to feel. Looking back over our time together I see that this tension between us can never be over come, the past is too real for us to forget. You hated me when you first landed here, as our battle raged I could see that you were drowning in your anger, so I offered you my hand only to have it tossed back in my face. I realized then that I couldn't help you fix yourself , but at least I tried.

You never gave a damn about anything but winning and in the end I guess that you did win, you have the 'mighty' Kakarotto trembeling at your feet. Fearful of doing something that would turn you away, I re-created myself in your image; doing what you wanted me to, saying what you wanted, being who you wanted no matter if it went against my principls. I left my heart open for you but you didn't realize it. Only now do I see the scars that you left on my mind and heart and those scars remind me that the past is real.

Taking another long swallow of some kind of alcohol that I filched from Master Roshi, I feel the welcome numbness seeping into my limbs, hours ago I lost count of how much I had already drunk and now it was beginning to pay off. I could feel myself sewing itself shut, keeping the feelings for you at bay. For the first time in the last three years, since we came together, I can't feel the pain of loving you.

I am happy.

In the past my weakness was that I cared too much, now I don't feel at all. I guess I should thank you for taking the pain away, you broke me and now I can't feel anything. Compassion is in my nature but now I can't even feel that.

I feel your ki moving rapidly towards me and I growl in anger. I am pissed that you came here, to me, when I am like this.

I stagger to my feet just moments before you land behind me.

"Just go home Vegeta, I'm drunk and I just want to be alone." I growl keeping my back to him.

I hear a snort of derision then, "Fool, why would I leave you here to end up killing yourself? Do you think I want to be the cause of a verbal war when that happens?"

"That's all you care about, isn't it." I stated, my tone flat and unfeeling.

"Of course, what would you have me give a damn about?" he intoned, confirming my fears.

"Of course." I repeated turning to face him, the words falling from my lips like acid, burning and eating away the skin.

He looks at me, and I fool myself in to seeing understanding dawn in his eyes.

"Good bye, Vegeta."

**_"Scars" _**

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut  
My weakness is that I care too much  
My scars remind me that the past is real  
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down  
And I just wanna be alone  
I'm pissed cause you came around  
Why don't you just go home  
Cause you channel all your pain  
And I can't help you fix yourself  
You're making me insane  
All I can say is

Chorus:  
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut  
My weakness is that I care too much  
And our scars remind us that the past is real  
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once  
Against my own advice  
I saw you going down  
But you never realized  
That you're drowning in the water  
So I offered you my hand  
Compassions in my nature  
Tonight is our last stand

Chorus

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down  
And I just wanna be alone  
You shouldn't ever came around  
Why don't you just go home?  
Cause you're drowning in the water  
And I tried to grab your hand  
And I left my heart open  
But you didn't understand  
But you didn't understand  
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself  
But at least I can say I tried  
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life  
I can't help you fix yourself  
But at least I can say I tried  
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

Chorus x2


	2. Whatever

Whatever

By: Vegeta's Mate

A/N: This one shot was written in responsce to Macha's challenge;

**_Macha_**

**_Eep, Very angsty. Not certain if 'liked' is the correct word to use here. I'll have to digest this for a while before I am really certain how I feel about it. I can say this, I could certainly feel what Goku was feeling. _**

So, here would be the challange, could you write a Vegeta POV where he really had nothing but self motivation in all of this? I would find that very difficult to write.

I look on, from a distance, as the idiot drinks himself stupid. I am confused as to why he's down there sitting along the rocks; his jet hair matted due to his incessant tugging on it, his orange and blue gi torn as a result of his drunken staggering.

For the last three years he has been my...hmmm. What word does one use to describe someone that they fuck to relieve stress? Release. Yes that is what he is, he's my release. My release from the nagging and the whining and crying that makes up my daily life. I think that if I didn't use the moron for stress relief that I'd blow this planet apart.

That doesn't sound like a bad idea. After all, wasn't that what I came here to do?

Things change.

I know that Kakarotto thinks that he loves me; hell he'd be insane not to love perfection, but I think he is trying to make me love him. He insists on doing things for me; hunting for me, cooking the kill, being 'on the bottom', and all manner of other things.

It's enough to make me back away from our...'stress relief activities' and find a more suitable fuck who will not try to make me love them.

At currant I am using the scarred prick, he has no idea it's me being as how I wear a mask and disguise my voice. He's not as good a fuck as Kakarotto but he will do until Kakarotto decides to see that this isn't about love, it's about fucking away our stress!

I can hear him mumbeling under his breath and I wonder what he's saying so I lift into the air and fly slowly closer. He growls aloud and staggers to his feet mere moments before I land behind him.

""Just go home Vegeta, I'm drunk and I just want to be alone." he growls keeping his back to me.

"Fool, why would I leave you here to end up killing yourself? Do you think I want to be the cause of a verbal war when that happens?" I just know that the idiot is going to pitch into the water and find that he is too stupid and drunk to swim.

"That's all you care about, isn't it." he states, his tone flat and unfeeling.

"Of course, what would you have me give a damn about?" I answer with a shake of my head.

"Of course." he repeats turning to face me, he has been crying and I feel a small niggeling of fear crawls my spine; he's heart broken.

He looks at me.

"Good bye, Vegeta." and with that last statement he kicks back and dives head first into the water.

"Good bye, Kakarotto"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

So Macha, what do you think? Let me know if the challenge has been answered to your likeing.

Love ya!

Vegeta's Mate


End file.
